Supernudewesley

Internet Hate Machine

supernudewesley — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 07:30:31 +0000

whenever im depressed about life, when ive lost hope in humanity, i turn to the internet to rejuvenate my faith in the common man. also the internet has porn.

and when im not rejuvenating (one way or the other) i enjoy to watch youtube clips, so much so that i made my own account. after a long time i finally summoned the courage to make a video, a terrible, poorly rated video. i took scenes from the red dawn and the intro of two and a half men, mixed them together into a Frankenstein of a video.

a week after i posted the video i stopped checking it, today i noticed that it had a few comments. i find this…

i can rest easy now, everything is resolved. life is happy again. good night everybody.

never save as a .jpeg an then color a picture

tl:dr
http://www.youtube.com/comment_servlet?all_comments&v=PB6iYH9MIkc

Now with a title, BLOG

supernudewesley — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 03:34:49 +0000

dear everyone,
I know you all love kanye jokes, i do too. hell ive made over 45 of those jokes today. but this joke is special, we must work together to keep it fresh. so i implore you, please stop making kanye jokes! also tell your unfunny friends to stop! for the love of god please.

that being said,

the song “up-town girls” is about me.

cartoon network has a new thing called “cn real” which is just normal real life tv. i feel ripped off.

i got into playing pokemon again, my grades have already stated to decline.

I keep putting sunflower seeds into my water cup. damn it to hell.

derek said that if i was a “king of the hill charater, i would be hank. That was the nicest thing he ever said to me.

one day when i went to give palsma, they where playing “final fantasy advent children” on the tv. even i thought that was gay.

well thats it, thanks for…

“Hey, Wesley
I’m happy for ya, and I’m gonna let you finish but KYLE is the best blogger of all time!”

td:dr i watched the actual kanye video, not as funny as i thought it would be.

Happy 44 views.

supernudewesley — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 08:36:59 +0000

Dear faithful readers (kyle),
August 26 is a day that will live in in-famous-y. I hit 44 views. This is a huge day in my blogging life, sort of like my blogging bar mitzvah. I am a blogging man.
I would like to thank all the people that got me here.

Kyle Irion – http://ironkyle.wordpress.com/

Katie McCann – http://pantspantsnopants.wordpress.com/
(not the cat)

also others…
Mom

Jesus

and…
The One, the Only, MJ
(R.I.P. MJ, the world will never forget your music.)

In conclusion,
I’ve decided to give my readers a gift, for all the faithful service.

Here it is!
-

-
BUT WAIT, THAT’S NOT ALL

Check out the alternate ending!
-

tl:dr just look at the pictures.

Holy Honkys

supernudewesley — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 20:11:45 +0000

my girlfriend wont stop playing video games. i realize that not many people have that problem, and because its so rare i should feel special. but it still sucks shit nuggets.

every parent that lets their child cry in a public place for more than a minute, deserve a ticket for disturbing the peace.

dear old people,
i know its strange and frighting, but young people have tattoos and piercings. either get use to it or get to dying.
love wesley
(i am fully aware that old people will never see this)

Tattoo Ideas
two words; pokeball nipples.

a tattoo of something i fell very strongly about

and i thought this was cute

i think my job would be alot more fun if target was haunted.

My phone wont hold a charge for more than a day, i’m doomed to have dump-tastic phones.

there is an old lady at target that will always give me glasses cleaner, she always slips them into my hand as if its some sort of secret. i like to think she is slipping me top-secret documents. im like a more sweaty james bond.

there is nothing to eat in my apartment. ill have to wait till my girlfriend leaves more food in the fridge.

i just beat “Ghostbusters the video game” and i can safely say, busting, does indeed, make me feel good.

tl:dr im not really a supporter of the nazi party, like that tattoo joke suggests. im just a silly billy.

The Art of Cool

supernudewesley — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 01:05:43 +0000

Have you ever seen that movie “Be Cool”? After I watched that movie I was worried about my own coolness level (I was so worried that I didn’t even pay attention to the movie, except the part where the rock slapped his butt and made noises for quite a while). Now i know what your thinking, “Where is he going with this?” and “Stop reading my mind”, and you know what I say to that? “Shut the fuck up, and let me finish the Damned Blog, jeez.” Anyway I took the Jane Goodall approach, and lived among the young people to learn their ways. I dressed up in “cool” clothes and when to the local mall. After years of research here are a few excerpts from my study journal…

Wesley’s Study Journal of the Young and Unbearably Stupid

Day:243
October 26, 2007
3:36 pm

The leader has finally accepted me into their Clan!!!! The leader, the one I call “Giant Douche”, asked if I wanted to “Squat my Load” at the table (Lord, I hope that just means to sit down). He asked me “how’s those balls” (Translation: Whats going on, Whats up). I said that I was “frozen” (I am fine) and “Whats your knuckles like” (How are you) to which Giant Douche replied “Bitches be text’n” (Bitches are Texting). Then Giant Douche’s friend “Smaller Douche” spoke up. Smaller Douche said “Evil Cloth, Fornicator” (Nice shirt, Buddy), I was wearing my shirt with Carlton from Fresh Prince being brutally murdered on the front of it. I said to Smaller douche “10-4 homey”. To my dismay, every one at the table stared at me and I ran off crying…
sigh… back to square one.

Trendy language facts:

-The word “butt” is used interchangeably with any describing word.
ex. “Her dress is very butt.”, “My butt feels like butt.”

-The word “Fantastic” is replaced with the word “phantasm”
ex. “That movie was phantasm.”, “phantasm, class is over.”

-”Super naked” just means regular naked

-”Ba-bang-a-tang” means “a orangutan that sells marijuana”

-a “stinky” is a homeless person.

What a wonderful 5 years of my life. Scientist are using my finding to make a potion that will automatically make you cool, or kill all the children, one or the other.

tl:dr Children are sacks of shit

BY POPULAR DEMAND…

supernudewesley — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 04:28:32 +0000

kyle has been harassing me to up date this. at first it was a little comment here and there, but now hes posting on my facebook, MY FACEBOOK. thats like breaking into my house and leaving a letter on my bed side table. its kind of like he wants you to know he was close enough to kill you/molest you but chose not too.

but you know me (and you more than likely dont), i dont respond to terrorism. so this is not a blog at all. dont read it. dont tell your friends. and you kyle… you should be ashamed.
I AM AMERICA

dl:dr this isnt a blog, move along.

Guest Blogger

supernudewesley — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 04:18:02 +0000

Why Men are Better than Women

“I love the feel of a butt.”
-Kyle
(drunk)

james taylor

supernudewesley — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 05:15:41 +0000

Things James Taylor has seen:

-Fire
-Rain
-Sunny Days (seeming to be unending)
-Lonely Times (unable to find a friend)

Things James Taylor thought he would see:

-You (again)

tl;dr listen to the song “fire and rain” by james taylor. or none of this makes any sense.

gettin drunk and dancing with older black people

supernudewesley — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 03:33:37 +0000

i have found that my family can not play any kind of game. when the rules are being explained, no one listens and every body cheats.

so my buddies and me got rock band. we call our selfs the “dick-rippers” or the “ass-rockers”
i like “dick-rippers” better.

my mom thought her cat was dying, because its been hiding and my mom can find her. the only thing wrong with that cat is that it is a cat.

the sound track to the movie “up” sounds alot like “lost”.

tattoo ideas: something with jesus, extra points if his dick is showing.
or super mario as a deity

no matter how much i want to, i cant read unless im at school or on the bus.

i made a “stir-fry-thing” for dinner tonight. no one was impressed.

acceptable places to use the “n-word”:
during meditation
at movie theaters
during the family prayer
with the windows up listening to rap music
during sex (only with white women)
to cover up a fart
^these jokes are ok, i have a black president.

tl:dr i didnt once use the word butt during this blog, im proud of myself. (ass doesnt count)

Mothers day.

supernudewesley — Sun, 10 May 2009 18:49:07 +0000

i called my mom. i thought it would be nice of me, and also
derek took the ps3.

Would it be ok to look up porn on mothers day? what if its “milfs”

i have to go to work. maybe if i have a kid they will let me leave early. maybe ill just tell them i have swine flu.

it sucks, when do i get a day? “Lazy-videogame-playing-white-dudes day” or “Unattactive-college-student day”

maybe to honor my mother i will get a tattoo of the word “mom”. or a kick ass dragon.

i need to send my mom a gift. can i send her the bill for the electric?
what about finishing that cd for her? and removing the 10 tracks that are “never gonna give you up”

i was eating chips, then i noticed i was just eating the fish food on my desk. this shit is good. those fish are living on easy street.

my phones screen wont work. but i can still call on it. i just have to use the force. maybe my phone is yoda?

tl:dr somebody send something to my mom, say its from me.